Inspired by a video made by Lucas Pakter, I’m writing about something I have struggled with throughout much of my working life.
I’ve observed some of the smartest people I know — the ones who are told they seem all put together and seem like they have everything figured out — struggle to ask for help when they need it.
Heck, I struggle to ask for help when I need it.
More than once in recent history, I’ve been in precarious positions in my career.
I’ve had contract work ending, or a shortage of freelance clients, or any number of things meaning that I was looking for a new opportunity.
Admittedly, with being told so often that I had everything figured out, I wouldn’t reach out to people who I knew could help.
That same feeling of shame would cloud my desire to post on LinkedIn about my availability for new roles or apply for roles at the risk of someone I know finding out I am looking for new work.
Fortunately, each time, I would eventually get over myself, and in the process would land a new opportunity.
This hasn’t made the feeling disappear, however.
I think that much of the time, many of us feel there is an audience keeping up with our lives, as if we are Kardashians.
The idea that there is a stadium of people studying our every move, and that the image we project to the world has to be one of strength and perfection.
Let me burst that bubble.
Remember those smart people I’d mentioned?
They did not get to where they were without asking people for advice along the way.
They secured investment, were accepted to programs, and made helpful connections where they could.
They did this when they recognized that in this life, you often do not get what you want if you do not ask for it.
From the moment life began, we were helped.
By our mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, neighbours, uncles, aunts, grandparents, teachers, babysitters, tutors, friends… the list goes on.
That need doesn’t ever change.
The sidewalks you walk on, streets you drive, and vehicles you use were all made by others, to help you.
So much of what you rely on every day is a collection of actions, ideas and efforts made to be helpful to you.
In this way, you are constantly helped by others, whether or not you ask for it.
So then, stop fearing what people may think when you ask for help.
Life was not meant to be conquered all alone.
You are allowed to ask for help when needed.
No one worth knowing will judge you for that.
Start asking for what you want.
Get help when you need it.
You only live once.
— Ehab.
